To Dye or not to Dye

The closest I have come to dyeing my hair was back in my teens when Shaders and Toners were all the craze and probably the only thing your Mum would allow or indeed  even notice.
 
My mates were all Blonde haired and how I envied the effects of those squidgy little sachets of colour applied before Youth Club on Wednesday night. 
Being a very dark brunette the effects on me of course were somewhat less striking, actually lets face it, invisible, but oh how I tried to keep up.
In moments of defiance my Fair friends managed fabulous streaks using food colouring and felt tip pens. I have a lasting memory of waiting for the school bus in the rain, green rivers running down my face - Oh the shame.
 
Of course in those days I'm guessing that the products weren't there to covert. I don't remember any of my commrades actually changing their colour as such, only maybe in the late 70's when the Fair ones got streaks to go with their curly perms and I just got a curly perm that was more frizz than curl.

My daughters all started young in the hair colouring department. They too are dark like me but have been a variety of shades to which my towels are testament. There's been highs and lows or rather highlights and lowlights along the way. One of the best was middle daughter attempting Blonde, ending up a rather unpleasant hamster colour and wearing a wooly hat despite it being mid-summer. We did laugh...sorry.
 
So here I am, a vitual hair dyeing virgin at almost 51, and if I'm honest a rather smug one at that. To me it's almost my party piece!
I have a box of colour in the bathroom cabinet purchased on a three for two offer when buying or rather dyeing for daughter 3. It's probably out of date if that's feasible in the colourant world and it's gathering dust. I'm not even sure if it's a suitable shade, I grabbed it and ran, heaven forbid that I bumped into someone I knew and they suspected me of faking it for all these years.


The trouble is I am faced with taking the plunge in the not too distant future. I can't keep blaming the silver "threads" on my shedding scarf for much longer and if I keep plucking the little white critters from my temples I am soon going to be bald.

My plan is to discard the dusty box and make an informed purchase. I am loath to pay an unearthly sum of money at the hairdressers for the sake of a few unruly follicles and if I do it at home the packaging will go in the re-cycling bin and no-one will be any the wiser (Unless something goes horribly wrong of course).

Ok so how do I choose between the seemingly vast array of products out there? In the TV ad Davina convinces her Mum that Garnier will cover all her greys. Maybe that's the tack I'll follow or ask my well informed daughters at the risk of turning out like some weird rodent. 

Well dear friends wish me luck on the loss of my colouring virginity and yes I do have a wooly hat available should disaster strike.

Love

Mel



 

 

 



 

 




 

How to solve the Un-solvable. A family issue

How is it that when there's a family feud going on you become involved even though technically you're not. I'm guessing the correct answer to that conundrum would be that family is the thing that ties us together, so in essence anything that threatens that bond is bound to upset the proverbial apple cart.

Well what about a situation where, to be honest, you have run out of patience and have an underlying desire to-

A) Run away and never come back preferably to somewhere nice and sunny with no Mobile Network.

B) Tell the individuals concerned exactly what you think of them even though you're a nice person who doesn't do things like that.
 

C) Bang their heads together or yours on a brick wall.
 

D) Ring the Jeremy Kyle show.

E) All of the above

The "situation" in our family has been going on for almost two years, yes two YEARS. The step sister and brother have ceased contact with their Mother and I mean ceased. The root cause between this distancing are two-fold. Firstly there was a week in Majorca which before it even took place was a disaster on steroids and then there was Money - that ol' chestnut.
 

The trouble is with these three individuals is, that if it was biologically possible, they would be Identical Triplets. OK not looks, that would be weird going on gender, but by just the way they think, or rather don't .
 

They each think they are right and justified in behaving like total goons.
 

None of them will attempt any sort of reconciliation in the fear that it would be a sign of weakness and could be construed as an apology.
 

Not one of them is prepared to try and understand / appreciate any other point if view other than their own.
 

The Step siblings are finding it easier / cheaper to cut contact with their Mother despite having children who are alienated from their Grandmother.
 

The Mother is wallowing in self pity and quite frankly would rather be miserable than take action.

Anyone reading this is probably now thinking that I'm a nasty unsympathetic woman on a Witch Hunt, stabbing those concerned in the back and desperately trying to justify my feelings of anger and frustration. It's not like that, and is not intended to present as a Step Family thing either.

I have an ally in my Sister, my best friend and confident. Together we have tried every strategy in the book and then some. We have been there for Step Mother, we understand the hurt that this is causing and the fact she's lonely since Dad died. We understand some of the reasons why her offspring are behaving this way. What we do not understand is why any of them refuse to attempt to change it.

We are both empathetic, have listened, suggested strategies which may help, attempted reconciliation, no joy at all, and I mean at all.

The step siblings have laughingly "de-friended" us on Facebook , frankly that's a bonus, and my Sister and I do our best to meet our Dad's last wishes and look after his Wife. He knew it was going to be difficult, that's why he had to mention it.

I do wonder when it will all end , hopefully not on stage with Mr Kyle or because some horrible accident or Illness forces bedside visiting.
 

I'm sorry I don't have a happy ending to my tale, maybe one day there may be some huge conciliatory knees up with much hugging and catching up on lost time. Frankly I don't want to be there or hear about it either, call me cynical..

Until such a day my Sister and I, our Husbands and Children will continue on trying to do the right thing. We will obviously keep Step Mum as part of our lives, even though her own will not, invite her to Dinner and buy her nice things. We will continue to send Christmas cards and gifts for the missing Nephews and Nieces and be pleasant if we cross paths with their parents in Tesco before we had the chance to switch aisles.

One thing for sure, if Dad was still with us this whole stupid thing would have been over within a week. Dad was a gentleman, a stickler for respect, generous and always fair.

Maybe it would be good if they remembered just that.